DENISE MAREK
A Fresh Perspective
Gaining a fresh perspective by seeking another’s point of view can work wonders to calm a worried mind.
To get untangled from a web of uncertainty, sometimes all you need is to talk to someone else and get a second opinion. Gaining a fresh perspective by seeking another’s point of view can work wonders to solve problems, create hope, and calm a worried mind. But be careful – while there are many benefits, asking for help can be a little tricky.
The tricky part is not so much the how – in fact, how to ask for a second opinion is relatively easy. It can be as simple as saying:
“This is the situation I’m in, and this is what I think. How do you see it?”
The tricky part of this process is the who. You must be very selective in deciding whose advice you’ll seek. If you poke around in a beehive in search of honey, you just might get stung! Whether you choose a close friend, a colleague, a relative, or even a casual acquaintance, here’s what you need to know before you ask:
- Seek honest and realistic feedback. Ultimately, the goal of requesting a second opinion is to engage in a constructive, solution-seeking, perspective-gaining conversation. Don’t just look for someone to reinforce the ideas that you already have; choose a person who will provide an honest and realistic assessment of your situation.
- Beware of your “worry-buddies.” These are those people in your life who fret as much or more than you do. Asking them for second opinions can backfire! Their feedback may create an even bigger synergy of worry and uncertainty, due to their uncanny ability to point out improbable pitfalls and unlikely dangers that you hadn’t thought of.You don’t need to eliminate worry-buddies from your life. They can provide a certain amount of support, but if that’s what you’re looking for, make sure that it’s exactly what you ask for. Say something like:“I just want your reassurance that everything is going to be okay.“
Encouragement from a good friend can go a long way: however, there are times when you require more than that. When you really need a true assessment of your situation, consider seeking advice from someone who worries less than you do and is capable of providing objectivity. Avoid negative thinkers. Steer clear of asking these folks for their perspective on your circumstances. A “down” force can have such a strong pull that you might find yourself even more confused and frustrated than you did before you asked for a second opinion. - Avoid negative thinkers. Steer clear of asking these folks for their perspective on your circumstances. A “down” force can have such a strong pull that you might find yourself even more confused and frustrated than you did before you asked for a second opinion.
- Choose an optimist. The every best person to talk to is someone who balances the “honest and realistic” approach with a healthy dose of optimism. I’m not talking about someone who provides false flattery or misleading reassurance. I mean someone who chooses to search for the most hopeful view in any situation.
A fresh perspective can help you identify and challenge incorrect assumptions. A single idea can show you a way around what appears to be a dead end, and just a glimmer of light cast on a different angle can help you find hope in a seemingly impossible situation. When you need help solving a problem – even the dilemma of a worried mind–talk to someone else and get a second opinion.
Denise Marek is known as The Worry Management Expert. An international speaker, author of CALM and The Keys: Open the Door to True Empowerment and Infinite Possibilities, and television personality, she has helped thousands of individuals to eliminate worry and systematically create positive and lasting changes in attitudes, actions, teamwork, and relationships For more information on Denise Marek’s speaking presentations, click on Denise’s picture at the top of the page.